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Games You'll Never See
Look for more later when I come up with more.
Rebel Squadrons High Command: Adventure in Disneyland! - Pick from Dave, Rahj, Shikkie, Jorval or Kaz in this wholesome RL get-together at Disneyland. Aid Shikkie and Rahj in checking out the hot California babes; Or guide Kaz and Jorval in a fight to the death over the last bag of airline peanuts. And then play as Dave; who bitch slaps Mickey for trying to hug him; and then gets his ass beat by Goofy and Donald Duck. But never fear! Kaz and Rahj never go anywhere without their trusty C-Rifles! EAT HOT PLASMA YOU GIANT FLUFFY LOSERS!! Shikkie even gets into it by building a 3 foot tall ewok/ninja from stray nuts and bolts he took off a hotdog stand and guiding it into the fray against that evil Minnie Mouse. But; nothing compares to the fun of Jorval VS. the 7 Dwarves. Armed with a baseball bat you lay the smackdown on the midgets! Hey; if you're going to pay $2.50 for a slice of pizza; you darn well better not be jostled and caused to drop it!
Election Pong! - That's right; a modern version of Pong using the heads of the two Presidential Candidates for Paddles; and a pregnate chad as the ball!. Laugh as the chad bounces off Gore's head with a wooden 'thud.' And then laugh even harder as your opponent's Bush head fails to block the chad, for it went through one ear, and out the other! Special bonus round featuring Secretary of State Katherine Harris as the stray dog that's trying to munch the chad like it's a milkbone!
Depends (the game) - Yes! That's right! you are an elderly person who's runing low on depends. As you put on the last pair you realize that you need more. Seven levels of fun (The apartment, the stairs, the sidewalk, the crosswalk, the sidewalk II, and the checkout lane) as you fight to the local grocery store, avoiding muggers, stray dogs, and drunken hooligans. Rush to the bathroom for extra points! Weapons include the Fixadent glue gun for stopping the muggers in their tracks; the crotch biting false teeth; and the old standby.. The walker of Doom! Complete with fold and whack action! Bonus weapon: purse full o' quarters.